My husband of 17 years is turning 40 soon. He has told me how much this is torturing him. He feels his life is almost over, we didn't travel enough, we don't have enough money, etc. He went and bought a new car that a teen would love to have, plays video games every single day. Our marriage has had ups and downs like any other, but since the new year, we had made a commitment to eachother to renew our relationship, and make *us* a new priority. And we did! It was like we were dating again. Then on my birthday he went and filed for divorce. I was devastated. Now after he's filed, he wanted to go to counseling. Which is fine believe me. BUT...I am so confused, and don't know how to take him. His actions, are complete opposite of his words. Every weekend we go out and do things like we are dating. We are *together* more than ever. He hugs me while we are sleeping every night, because we are still sharing a marital bed. We laugh, joke, hug, go out. Then at therapy, he will say he is trying, but then say he is only there because his lawyer told him to go, or that he is only there so I can't say he didn't try? This confuses me terribly. I don't know how to take it. His reason at therapy for the divorce, he says, is the feelings of resentment he can't get over for arguments and things that happened early in our marriage when we were 20ish. I tell him things haven't been like that in years, that I've grown and matured over the last 17 years, and that I'm sorry calling him names all those years ago hurt him. I don't know what more I can do. I love this man, but don't want to sit here being nice playing the fool either???
Confused.