Much like the post before me, my husband started acting like something was wrong but when approached, said there was nothing wrong. However, his actions said otherwise. Closer to his 49th birthday, he was just "different" and I knew something serious was brewing. We have been married almost 16 years and have 3 of our own children plus I have raised his son from another relationship (although never married). He finally broke the news to me over a phone conversation the day before spring break + sent me & the children away for 1 week; 1st time ever without him. Sent me txt message to see how the children were doing but when I said "will we be ok" his reply was "I don't know". He says he loves me but isn't sure if he is in love with me. He's purchased an expensive race car because the one in the garage just wasn't enough for him. He says the things that make me this wonderful person that I am, are the same things are my demise. He acts like nothing is wrong, has not spoken about divorce but maybe a possible seperation. I asked if we could go see a marriage counselor and he said "ok" but doesn't know if it's anything that can be fixed. He is not willing to talk about his feelings or what is going on in his head without first speaking to the councelor. He's had his first session, and I too seperately. We will see her this week for the 1st time together, and I am so hoping she can shed some light on us. I realize this is infact a midlife crisis however when I told him the symptoms and if he felt he might see himself in it, he laughed at me. When the councelor told him herself, he replied by saying .."thats what my wife said". So far we are still in the same house, but I find it so very difficult to put on a happy face for the children, and I find I can not function at work. I only work contract work, so I'm ready to give it up just so that I can be at home. I want to start taking care of me, but there are times, I barely feel like getting out of bed or doing household chores! If it weren't for the children, I would have surely fallen to pieces worse than I already have. I thank God for the 2 friends that I have confided in and help me and listen to me unconditionally. My family is struggling with what's going on and watching me fall to pieces. His family is trying to be supportive too, his mother sees what's going on and understands it as she herself has gone through soemthing like this. Her's luckily was only a few months. I'm scared to death and I have been realistic in my mind that this could go either way. I have consulted a lawyer just so that I know my rights so that if it goes the other way, I will be aware of what's going on. I also find he has made a few attempts at initiating intimacy but I've noticed there seems to be a problem with "performance". Could this be that he doesn't find me stimulating any more, or could this be another issue encompassing Midlife crisis? I guess time will tell. So far, I don't feel in my heart there is another woman and I have asked but he tells me no. So for now, I will go along with this answer. I love him, but am not sure I can withstand life in limbo for a long period of time. This truly will make us or break us.