"I think his feelings are because of the stresses or mid-life crisis but he say no."

Try to get him to talk and just listen. Avoid rushing in to provide solutions or answers. Does he talk about the bills, life stresses, mortality, getting old, etc.?

Midlife Crisis is not like a virus where you have it or you don't. It's more of an umbrella term to describe a phase that can happen in midlife. It has a variety of triggers and can lead to a variety of behaviors...acting out, confusion, apathy, anger, substance abuse, etc. Complicating this is that depression can be part of this. Plus someone can be depressed and it is nothing to do with a classic midlife crisis. (If you haven't already done so, try reading this collection of posts on midlife crisis)

One of the reasons people like to try and label midlife crisis is that it is then easier for them to understand what is happening to themselves or their spouse. Then you can look at going, 'this is the midlife crisis talking, not the true them.'

We know how frustrating it is. The single best thing you can do in situations like this (other than taking care of yourself which should always be concern #1) is to create an environment where your husband feels comfortable talking, talking and talking more. It is possible that he has no idea what is going on either and if he feels comfortable opening you perhaps you can find out together.

I'm very sorry you are having to go through this. Not that this will be any comfort but you can see a lot of folks are going through similar experiences.

Wesley Hein
Wesley [at] lifetwo [dot] com
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