I am so sorry to hear your story. My husband blind-sided me at work and sent an email asking for a separation after being together 10 years. The difference is that he is willing to talk and tell me all the things that I'm doing to make him unhappy. Some are true events others it's like he's grasping to make sense of his decision. If your husband has no interest in making the marriage work - what are you to do? Perhaps give him time to realize that living alone in a dinky apartment isn't going to bring him the "something" that he's looking for? How long has he lived away from you? Are you willing to give him time? I am so hurt by my husband that I don't know how much time I can continue like this but I am only 32. I wish you happiness.