I have been married to my husband for 16 years, he is 39 and I am 37. We have had a good marriage and he has been a wonderful husband to me. Earlier this year, he started manifesting midlife-crisis behavior. This co-worker of his had been pursuing him for a while and unfortunately for me, he decided to leave me for her. She is 27 years-old and he dresses and does things that an 18-year-old would do to please her. No one recognizes him; it's like he is a different person! He said that he loves me but that he is not in love with me anymore. He is divorcing me and plans to marry the girl who shamelessly has been seeking to get him so that she can have a caring and empathetic guy to go with since she is divorcing her own husband with whom she is not happy. She already is contrlling him and expects a royal lifestyle except my husband makes half the money her husband makes. He is already planning to spend a lot of money on an engagement ring and he takes her to expensive restaurants and expensive entertainment. He is hurting me so badly because he treats me coldly and he manipulates me with affection he shows me. I understand the midlife crisis and the depression he is suffering from. He self-medicates by running 3 miles a day and the sex he has with her. I love my husband deeply and I have to let him go. I realized that the divorce is a protection for me because when he wakes up, he will be in trouble and she will be gone with the $5,000 engagement ring. After speaking with experts on marriage and affairs, I can see how this relationship will end in failure and financial ruin for him. I decided to wait and see what happens to him while going into what I am calling "hibernation", basically living my life and taking care of myself until he wakes up from his illusive situation. I want to wait and see what happens so that I can be there when he will need my help. People have been discouraging me to wait and see and claim I would be better off dumping him and move on to someone else. I just can't do that. I want him back and I know he needs medical help and psychotherapy because of issues that are resurfacing from his adolescence to which he is reverting right now. Do you think it is ridiculous to want to wait and see what he does? Do you think it is too self-sacrificing despite the love I have for him?