When I read your comments and stories it's hard to believe what is happening to you both. I'm also amazed at the maturity and introspection that you are each handling your situations. In both of your stories your husbands are very confused. They would both benefit from counseling, either alone or with you, or preferably both. They may think that they are happy as they do the things you describe (for example the affairs) but this is not happiness, and certainly not a path for lasting happiness. As they work through their problems do your best to take care of yourself. Make sure that you have your own network of friends and family for support and that you are doing things that you enjoy doing. Also be prepared for some pent up anger on your part no matter which way this goes, which is certainly understandable, but something you will want to manage nonetheless. Once again counseling is a good way to go on that.

I wish there was something different to do or say. The good news is that we hear stories all of the time of these things turning out okay in the end. But since this is nothing you can count on you need to watch out for your own interests while seeing if something can be worked out.

Wesley Hein Wesley [at] lifetwo [dot] com Sign up for the LifeTwo Newsletter!