I'm going through this right now. My husband of 9 years and boyfreind of 20. We were doing great up until he had to go do some time away from us for a couple of months. I told him everyone makes mistakes and we will get through it. He's only 34 and he tells me he's not in love with me but loves me (but tells his freinds he loves me a lot). He's not one to go to counseling and I don't know what to do. He doesn't want to seperate or divorce and wants to participte with the family. He's an awsome husband and dad. we don't arguing all the time or anything like that. I gained weight alot and was realy depressed for the last 3 years. I feel I may have pushed him away one to many times both emotionally and physically. while he was doing his time I hit rock bottom and I have since been improving and getting the person I know whos inside back out not only for me but I know he misses her too. I'm worried it's a little to late. he's so back an forth. He thinks the space between us will bring us closer together. I think what he thinks is he will find someone younger more attractive and mistake that infatuation and excitement for fullfillment and the key to get him out of this crisis he is in. If anyone has any suggesstions on how I should approach this please help.