I recently spent time with a long-married couple. Like nearly all long-term couples, they’ve developed habits they don’t even know they have. One of this couple’s favorite ones, it seems, is bickering over inconsequential details. For example, “We went shopping last Thursday…” “No, it was Wednesday.” “No, I’m sure it was Thursday.” Etc., etc., etc. »more»

You’ve heard of cops engaging in high-speed chases to catch criminals. Then OJ Simpson made the low-speed chase a new buzz word when he was avoiding arrest. The concept can be applied to dating, although it is not to avoid incarceration. It might be to avoid entanglement, but it also might be a sound strategy for engagement. »more»

People often say they treat others as they want to be treated. But in dating (and in life) that frequently results in disappointment, hurt and anger.

Let’s examine some common scenarios: »more»

I've been interviewed a lot lately to promote the Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 book series. A question I hadn't really given a lot of thought to keeps coming up.

It is, "What's the biggest negative surprise you've had with dating midlife men?"

Since I keep getting asked this, my response has evolved as I've thought about it more.

My answer?

Lack of conscientiousness. »more»

It’s wonderful when dating someone who has the same level of infatuation you do. It’s fabulous to both feel similarly smitten.

However, my experience is it isn’t that common to feel equal adoration. One of you is typically more entranced than the other. »more»

Since I’m in Dubai, I thought I’d take an Arabian tale and apply it to dating.

A Bedouin tied his camel outside his tent and retired for the night. It is unusually cold, so the camel sticks his nose under the tent and asks, “Master, may I keep my nose warm?” The master thinks, what’s the harm? “Sure. You may put your nose in my tent.” »more»

Sometimes we get lessons on dating — and life — from unusual sources.

The sand painter arrived early for the demonstration at the Arizona resort. He looked different than I expected — I made the stereotypical assumption that the demo would be by a Native American. He was not. »more»

He was funny and intelligent during the 4 calls prior to our drink date. His pictures in his online profile were a bit fuzzy, but nothing odious. Our conversation assured me he wasn’t a sex maniac, egomaniac, nor a maniac of any kind. Although it did give me some pause that he was 57 and never married. »more»

I dated a man for 6 months who was going through financial difficulty. When I asked why we didn’t see each other more than once every 10 days or so, he said he didn’t want to see me without being able to take me out. I explained that I was more interested in getting to know him than on his ability to entertain me. He said, “Romance takes finance.” »more»

Dearest Readers:

I need your assistance.

In the next 30 days I plan on launching the first of my 13(!) books on advice for midlife dating women based on my blog postings. But I need a little help from my friends and readers. »more»

When we begin to date someone, nearly always he is a stranger. Even if you meet through friends, work, class, church or other activities, you most likely barely know him. While you want to be open and trusting, you also want to be conscious of inconsistencies that point to him not being who he represents himself to be. »more»

My pal shared his counter-stereotypical challenge: Women tried to seduce him before he felt the relationship merited it. Most of my dating men friends have shared they were ready for sex much sooner than the women they dated. Therefore I knew this pal was a rarity worth studying.

So I probed. »more»

When we are fond of a man, we look for signs of his endearment toward us. We seek affirmation that he thinks as dearly about us as we do about him. Sometimes we mistake his natural habits for signs that he is going out of his way to show his affection toward us.

For example, you are on your third date and he: »more»

A past beau called the little chores he did for me around my house “honey dues” and implied they were the dues men paid to make their woman happy. »more»

A man discloses volumes during a dating relationship, but most revealing is how he breaks up. It’s almost a shame that there isn’t a break up early on as you’d see how he treats you. »more»

I’m amazed at the number of accomplished, assertive, confident midlife women who confide in me a problem with the their dating relationship. The common sense solution is to talk to their guy about it.

However, many of these women seem squeamish at this prospect. When I ask why, they respond, “I’m afraid of losing him.” »more»

It can be hot, steamy and mouth watering. With a great recipe and tasty condiments, it can be delectable.

But just as with the first waffle, the first time with a new love can also be anemic and unsatisfying. In fact, many midlife daters report the initial romp to be less fulfilling than they hoped. Even with someone with whom they are emotionally and physically excited. »more»

An Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 reader writes:

I’ve been dating my 56-year-old boyfriend for a six months. I enjoy his company, both in and out of the bedroom, and he says he enjoys mine too. In the beginning, we’d go out to dinner, plays, concerts, movies, picnics, bike rides, etc. Now, he says he has to work late and comes over just to spend the night — including pre-sleep activities, if you know what I mean.

I want a boyfriend, not a booty call. »more»

You’ve been dating for a while. You’ve had lots of first dates that didn’t evolve to seconds. So your dating numbers seem high to those who’ve been out of the dating scene for years. To them any number over 10 seems outrageous if you exclude anything before age 30. »more»

“Recovery time” is however long it takes one to return to normal after an event. Whether it’s the time it takes an athlete’s body to return to normal heart rate or hydration after a grueling event, or someone’s return to health after a setback. Or how long it takes for someone to recover after a relationship’s ending. »more»

DG reader Carol asks: »more»

When in Singapore in January, I learned about a Chinese legend that is supposed to help you attract love. It’s pretty simple.

In Chinatown, a friend pointed out two Mandarin duck figurines. She said if you put these little statues in your bedroom so they faced each other bill-to-bill, they would attract love to you.

Why? »more»

For a relationship to work long term, I believe it’s important that you are able to fit into each other’s world. Not that you have to live parallel lives with the same profession, income, hobbies, etc.

But is important that you can easily slip into each other’s activities, gracefully converse with the other’s counterparts and dress appropriately for the occasion. »more»

Men have told me it isn’t fair when a women judges them based on behaviors of previous suitors. Ideally we all want to be assessed as individuals, not lumped into “men do this” or “women do that” stereotypes.

Yet it is difficult to not take into account past lessons from collective experiences with the opposite gender. »more»

When you talk to a potential suitor regularly for more than a few weeks before meeting, a false sense of intimacy can develop. In flirty or soul-baring emails and/or phone conversations, you can begin to feel a budding emotional connection to the other. »more»